Feel Better
by Lizzingtoness
Summary: While reminiscing Reddington realizes that there is something wrong with his beloved Lizzie.


**Discalaimer: The Blacklist is not mine. I just like to play with the characters.**

Raymond Reddington sat on the couch in the Hempstead living room and looked out the window in pensive thought. Swirling the amber liquid in the glass he held with the tips of his fingers, he replayed the events from the night.

He and Lizzie had returned home from the Post Office after particularly long and boring day. Thinking back she had been irritable all day, but he had attributed it to being tired, maybe it was more. Then when they had gotten home, Dembe had dinner waiting for them. She had been unusually silent at dinner and had only eaten three maybe four bites when she stood from the table and bid him a goodnight. Like he always did when they parted ways for the night, he had walked towards her to kiss her goodnight. But before he got to her, she turned around and walked up the stairs with a "Not tonight, Red," tossed over her shoulder.

He wouldn't say that they have a relationship per se. They weren't constantly touching, but they would brush past each other just to feel the other. It had also become a habit that, only after a particularly grueling day, she would curl into him as they sat on the couch, wrapping one arm around his waist and resting her head on his chest. They didn't go out on dates but they did kiss occasionally. Only once had it been more than a chaste kiss. Red thought about that day often, he remembered it as if it were yesterday.

"_Goodnight Red," she whispered as she gingerly crawled out of his arms and off of the couch._

"_Do I not get my goodnight kiss?" he teased with a small smile that made her heart nearly melt. "I mean after you so blatantly used me for comfort, the least you can do is give me a peck of a kiss before you run off to bed._

_Rolling her eyes, she walked back over to him. "One peck," she mumbled as she bent forward and brushed her lips against his. Something was different that night however. There was always a spark when they kissed but this was more, it was like a power surge. Pulling away from him, she looked into his eyes and realized she didn't want to pull away. Leaning forward again, she brushed over his lips before taking them into a long and deep kiss. Finally the need to breathe was too great and she pulled back again, only this time she realized that she was straddled across his hips. His hands were still modestly at her waist, but hers were inside his unbuttoned shirt. How did she let herself get so carried away? Lizzie looked down as her cheeks colored in embarrassment. _

"_I'm sorry, Ray," she whispered though she did not remove her hands from within his shirt. In fact, she had just threaded her fingers further into his chest hair, mesmerized by how soft it was. She suddenly became distracted as images passed through her mind of her lying naked beside him, head resting softly on his chest, the feel of his hair tickling her cheek, her body humming in post-coital bliss. She had no doubt that, when they arrived at that stage in their relationship, he would be an excellent lover. __**Wait! **__Her mind screeched to a halt.__** Since when did I start thinking of Red as a lover?**__ If she was honest with herself, she had been thinking in such a way for a while now. Since before Tom was even gone. _

_Lizzie felt her face being lifted and her eyes connected with his. "Elizabeth?" her stomach did a backflip at hearing her full name pass his lips like a song. It was then that she realized she had probably already missed the original question. _

"_I'm sorry, what did you ask?"_

"_You called me Ray. Why?" he asked his eyebrows furrowed. _

_She looked down at her hands on his chest once more before replying. "I've said Red with such contempt before. I called you that when I hated you, or when I thought I did. And everyone calls you Red. We weren't being ourselves just then and so I called you Ray. I mean I call you either Ray or Raymond when I dr-" she stopped short, her face growing even redder if that was possible._

"_You dream about us? Like in, __**that**__ way?" his voice was laced in amusement but not mocking. "Come now, Elizabeth, don't lie."_

_She nodded her head, moving to get off of his lap but he wouldn't let her._

_He slid his hands up her back and pulled her into his chest to where he could speak directly into her ear. "What do you dream about, Lizzie?" his breath set fire into her veins and she desperately tried but failed to contain the soft whimper that the sensation caused. He placed a kiss behind her ear and her body gave an involuntary shiver. _

"_Red, please, I'm really not ready for this," she pushed against him as he debated what to do. "Please, Red, don't push me." Those were the key words. Immediately he let her crawl out of his lap: the last thing he wanted was for her to think he was __**pushing**__ her. "I'm sorry," she whispered and he saw the tears rising in her apologetic gaze. She began to walk away but turned to look back at him. She couldn't leave him thinking that she did not __**want **__him. God knew she __**wanted **__him. She wanted him so badly that it nearly pained her to separate from him. Walking back up to him, she kissed his lips and then his cheek before whispering "Goodnight, Ray," into his ear and stepping away to go to her room._

Yes Raymond Reddington thought of that day a lot. It was only two months ago, but he craved for the experience to happen again, and this time he would be more adventurous, if he felt she was up for it. Reddington was instantly shaken from his thoughts as he heard footsteps run across the floor above him and down the hallway, moving way too fast for nothing to be wrong. The only person upstairs was Lizzie. Jumping up, he strained his ears to hear any sign of distress. He didn't want to go disturb her if she had just really needed to use the bathroom. It was then that he heard the tell-tale sounds of someone throwing up. Raymond took the stairs two by two as he quickly made his way to the bathroom down the hall from her room, the noises only getting louder and more pitiful as he neared the room.

Without knocking, Raymond opened the door to find her sprawled on the floor head dangling over the toilet, her guts exiting her mouth. "Oh, Sweetheart," he sighed as he bent down to hold her hair back. Glad that he had rolled his sleeves up, he pulled all of it back and held it out of her way. When it finally seemed that she had finished he stood and retrieved a glass of water and a damp rag. Returning he handed her the glass of water and wiped her forehead off with the cloth. Settling next to her, he took the empty glass from her and flushed the toilet.

"Why are you so good to me, Ray?" Her voice was quiet as she took his arm between her hands, very carefully running her hands up and down his forearm almost in reverence of his strength before lacing her fingers with his.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" his voice was raspy with emotion. She hadn't called him Ray since _**that**_ night and the word held a very pleasing note to his ears as it rolled off her tongue. She had yet to look at him.

"I'm sick, naked and gross and all you care about is taking care of me." It was then that Raymond realized that she was, in fact, only in her bra and panties, a fact he was surprised he hadn't noticed immediately. "Why are you so good to me, Ray?"

"B-because you deserve it, sweetheart." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead and she began to cry. "Good Lord! I'm sorry. What did I do, darling?" She said nothing but slipped her arms around his waist, curling her body into his and nuzzling her face into his neck. He said nothing more, just wrapped his arms around her and placed soft kisses in her hair as she cried gently into him. When she had finished crying she started to play with his collar, flipping it between her fingers.

"I'm sorry. I always cry after I throw up, I always feel so helpless." He didn't say anything so she stood and helped him up. "I think I'm going to go back to bed," she stated.

"I'll tuck you in," he breathed, inwardly smiling as she nodded her head and laced their fingers once more.

He helped her into her bed and kissed her forehead, before walking out of the room. "Raymond?" her voice drifted like music down the hall to him. He returned to her bedside and looked down at her in question. "Please stay? If you're going to catch this, you have already. Please, I just need you to hold me."

_Need __**you**__ to hold me. _Her words flitted through his brain a billion times a second as he processed what she had said. She didn't need someone to hold her. She needed **him** to hold her. "Me?" his voice was choked as if he hadn't really meant to say it, which he hadn't.

"Yes, Raymond, please, hold me. You can put your pajamas on first if you'd like."

"I don't really-" his voice trailed off and he saw the recognition hit her face.

"You sleep naked?" her eyes glittered in amusement.

"Hey, you have no place to talk, you're sleeping in your underwear!"

"True… You can too, if you'd like. Sleep in your underwear, I mean. I'll even look away as you undress." She turned her head and smiled at the obvious sounds of clothes hitting the floor. He crawled in beside her and she could tell that he was nervous. She was too, but damn it she was sick! She needed to be held and she wanted Red to be the one to do that, but she wanted him to be comfortable too.

She turned back around and looked at his chest longingly before back up to his eyes. "May i?" she whispered, wanting nothing more than permission to lay her head on the soft hair that coated his chest.

"Be my guest." He lifted his arm and she pulled herself as close to him that she could as his arm encircled her waist, the skin on skin contact only bearable because she felt so crappy.

"Thank you," she sighed into his chest, curling her fingers into his chest hair.

"No problem, sweetheart." He kissed her head gingerly and squeezed his arm around her slightly.

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch today. I just wasn't feeling well."

"That's alright, I understand." He ran his fingers deep through her hair and she had to suppress a moan from how good the intimate gesture felt.

"Goodnight, Raymond." Risking their delicate balance, she let her lips drop to his chest to place a lingering kiss to it.

"Goodnight, Elizabeth. Feel better."

**A/N: So I hope you all liked it! Please review to let me know if you liked it! Also, I take requests so if you want to see something, I may be able to make it. I also have a prompt for a slightly m-rated fic. If anyone is interested please pm me. **

**Thanks for your time!**

**Lizzingtoness**

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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